My birthday is near Christmas and I know this for sure, that a birthday near to Christmas is no birthday at all. Because it never feels special and it's always the same. If your birthday is near to Christmas then I know you feel my pain
I'm going to kill myself for Christmas, to see how you like that. Pull crackers at my funeral and make the vicar wear his party hat
My birthday is in December and I'd love to see you, but it's always the same night as someone's work Christmas do. So we'll go out to a restaurant and have the special 3 course, where even the ice-cream comes with cranberry sauce
I'm going to kill myself for Christmas, to mark this special day. Put tinsel around my casket. Sing carols at my wake.
Oh Santa - I can feel the snow falling over my head
And If I climb into an empty sledge - oh well
I'm going to kill myself for Christmas, the perfect time to go.
I've already written my own eulogy.
It's five words:
released December 16, 2014
Words & Music by Francis Albert Machine apart from all the bits I nicked from The Smiths (I Know It's Over), Low (Just Like Christmas) and The Lord God Baby Jesus (Away In A Manger)